Revisionist History

I voted for the first time in 1972. Nixon won his 2nd term that year. He won by a landslide. I cast my ballot for George McGovern.

A couple of days after that election, I dove into the  dumpster located behind the Riverside County Democratic Headquarters and came up with a small cardboard box filled with never used McGovern for President bumper stickers. 

I put the box in my duffel bag and forgot about it…until Watergate.

I forgot about it until Tricky Dick was disgraced and his flunkies were busted. Then, one miserable 6:01 am, right after I walked into the Party Time Barroom with just enough change to buy one beer, anothet guy took a stool and started to gripe about our “criminal and chief.” 

He said, “I wished I never voted for that son of a bitch.”

I drained my glass, slammed it down onto the bar and I dug into my bag. After half a minute, I pulled out one bumper sticker and said, “Here, put this on your car, if you’ve got a car, and it will say to the rest of the world, ‘Don’t blame me.'”

The guy smiled, took the sticker and told the bartender, “Double shot for my friend, here.”

That day, that night and into the next morning, my bumper stickers were a big hit. And all my drinks were free.

I don’t know how long I was drunk.

 All I know is, when I finally regained consciousness, I was wrapped round the toilet of a gas station rest room. 

All I know is it took me over an hour to figure out I was in Anaheim, 40 miles from my home. 

Then, it took me another hour to figure out how to ask for directions to the closest freeway onramp.

And it took me forever to get to the proper onramp. Once there, I stuck out my thumb until it was clear I wasn’t going to get a ride anytime soon. So, rather than sit, I started walking.

I started walking and cussing at every car that roared past me. Then, I stopped cussing and started noticing that every other car that roared past me had a bright, shiny new George McGovern for President sticker posted on their rear bumper. 

That’s when I thought, “Me. I did that.”

And that’s all I know.


About joefingas

I am a songwriter, poet, blues singer, and a boogie woogie piano player. I have a grandson but I have no children of my own. All my women have wised up and left me. I was a bum, a wino, a drug/alcohol counselor, a prevention/intervention specialist and a pretender. I have no more time to pretend.
This entry was posted in 12 Step Meetings, Blues, Denial, Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Revisionist History

  1. Very well written. Much enjoyed the history and your perspective.

  2. elvagreen123 says:

    Cracking up here. What a story to recount.

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