I’m 37 years sober and, in 12 Step Program years, that’s considered an “old timer.” I don’t know how an old timer is supposed to act but, somehow, I think I’m goin’ about it all wrong.
I don’t have all the answers. I still get pissed off about all kinds of little shit. And the newcomers don’t listen to me.
The other week, I asked a guy with less than 3 months clean to refrain from plasterin’ my photo all over a facebook page. Sure, the page was private and only a few folks would see it but, as I explained to the novice, “I’m just askin’ that you don’t.”
He said, “You can’t stop me.”
And I couldn’t. Now, the two sentences before this one, I’ve written them before, on that private page, and, as a comment to that private page post, the one-who-can’t-be stopped countered with,”I thought he (me) was joking…it’s a private page…I didn’t say ‘You can’t stop me’….that was (my) hyperbole….”
The next day I called him and said, “I know what you said. I know what you did. I think maybe you should get another sponsor.”
And he said, “Okay.”
And that was that till he and some other young men in recovery congregated around me as I play piano in front of a coffee roaster’s. My former sponsee stood in front of me and stared at me for almost a minute. It gave me the creeps. I wanted to tell them all to go away.
But I didn’t have to coz they left less than 3 minutes after they arrived.
I usually celebrate the anniversary of my sobriety the last Sunday of September at my Home Group Meeting.
But I don’t think I will this year.
I checked the log book of members and my name is not among the names of the celebrants scheduled for this month.
It might’ve been a mistake…an oversight…however, I prefer to consider it a message, from the newest members of the group or, perhaps, from my Higher Power, tellin’ me that it’s my time to step back, sit down and shut up.