CODEPENDENTNOFUCKINMOREBABY

I quit my main band yesterday.  The bass player/manager booked a gig behind my back. It was the second time in a month and a half. A fan sent me a text saying. “I’ll see you there.”

“Where,” I asked.

“Tonight at The Bowling Alley Bar.”

“News to me.”

I scrolled through my e-mail, my Facebook, then I logged onto the Bowlin’ Alley Page and I found it, a bone-fide Blues Jam Event, presented in HD clear copy and photo. My main band. My bass player/manager. Different guitar player, different guy on drums and it wasn’t me on the keyboard.

I called the bass player and, on the fifth ring, he answered, “Hello.”

I said. “I’m not playin’ with y’all tonight?”

“You’re not playin’ tonight. This is just a rehearsal for Tail Dragger who’s come up from…”

“You could’ve told me Monday. Remember Monday? The night I rescued the gig for us. You could’ve told me then.”

“Let me ex-…”

“I quit,” I said hangin’ up before I heard one more word from the prick.

Over ten years of workin’ with him.

Puttin’ up with his bully tactics.

Makin’ excuses for him.

Feelin’ sorry for him.

Ten years of lettin’ him book the gigs…

Lettin’ him lose the gigs…

Lettin’ him do it coz I didn’t want to do it…

Even though I’m better at it…

I let him do it for over

Ten Years…

And, now, he gives me no choice,

no yay or nay, about

The Bowlin’ Alley Gig…

“I quit.” I said hangin’ up.

Hangin’ up before he could say, “This is not a money show.”

Before he could say another word coz

money’s not the point.

Money’s not the point.

Choice is the point.

Respect is the point.

So I said, “I quit.”

And I was hangin’

up quick coz

money wasn’t

the point coz

it was my choice

to hang up coz,

if I stayed on

the line one

more second,

I’d have lost

all respect

for my-

self.

So, before

hangin’ up, I said,

“I quit.”

And, after hangin’ up,

I said,

“No

More.”

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About joefingas

I am a songwriter, poet, blues singer, and a boogie woogie piano player. I have a grandson but I have no children of my own. All my women have wised up and left me. I was a bum, a wino, a drug/alcohol counselor, a prevention/intervention specialist and a pretender. I have no more time to pretend.
This entry was posted in 12 Step Meetings, Blues, Co-Dependency, Denial, Memoir, Money, Poetry, Relationships, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to CODEPENDENTNOFUCKINMOREBABY

  1. The Mom says:

    Yeah! Wow!!!!! I feel like taking on the world after reading this! You are my HERO! !!!!!!!!!!

  2. joefingas says:

    Feeling’s mutual. My brother used to say, “Every day’s a war.” And, even though it’s not always a battle, I know the feeling. And so do you. It’s a good fight we’re fighting. We have to keep at it.

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