Freedom’s Blessing Freedom’s Curse

For the first time in my life, every choice I make is my own. For the first time, I have no excuse not to do exactly as I please. This morning I realized it’s been this way for over 5 years, since June 16th, 2009, the day my brother died.

On that day, my life was mine, all mine.

I did my share of grieving…for my brother and for the love of my life, the woman with whom I was to grow old, the woman I forced out while takin’ care of Brother Dan. The woman who finally listened when I said, for the hundredth time, “Get out and on with your own life. No one but family should have to put up with this.”

I despaired. I wailed. I bled from my palms and eyes. I fell on every sword available. Just to avoid reality…this reality…

I’ve run out of people to blame.

It’s up to me.


About joefingas

I am a songwriter, poet, blues singer, and a boogie woogie piano player. I have a grandson but I have no children of my own. All my women have wised up and left me. I was a bum, a wino, a drug/alcohol counselor, a prevention/intervention specialist and a pretender. I have no more time to pretend.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Freedom’s Blessing Freedom’s Curse

  1. The Mom says:

    at least you aren’t alone…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s