For the first time in my life, every choice I make is my own. For the first time, I have no excuse not to do exactly as I please. This morning I realized it’s been this way for over 5 years, since June 16th, 2009, the day my brother died.
On that day, my life was mine, all mine.
I did my share of grieving…for my brother and for the love of my life, the woman with whom I was to grow old, the woman I forced out while takin’ care of Brother Dan. The woman who finally listened when I said, for the hundredth time, “Get out and on with your own life. No one but family should have to put up with this.”
I despaired. I wailed. I bled from my palms and eyes. I fell on every sword available. Just to avoid reality…this reality…
I’ve run out of people to blame.
It’s up to me.