I’ve been in a bad place lately. I wasn’t gonna post coz everything’s gonna sound like “po’ baby” cryin’. But I woke up yesterday and thought, “This is as good as I’m gonna get.” And I wanted to scream. I wanted to get in my car and drive till I ran outta money and gas and then I wanted to keep goin’ coz what the fuck good am I if I’m gonna be stuck like this forever? What the fuck good am I?

I’ve got no answer. I want no answer. This just washes over me every so often and I get over it eventually. Or I forget about it till the next time. 

I know one thing. I’m not goin’ to Costa Rica like I’ve planned. And I’m goin’ to piss some folks off coz I’m not goin’. I don’t want to go into the reasons for me cancelin’ my trip right now but I’m determined to ruin my most recent chance for a little happiness…if not happiness, then a little bit of selfish pleasure. I’m lookin’ a gift horse in the mouth and tryin’ to pull its teeth.




About joefingas

I am a songwriter, poet, blues singer, and a boogie woogie piano player. I have a grandson but I have no children of my own. All my women have wised up and left me. I was a bum, a wino, a drug/alcohol counselor, a prevention/intervention specialist and a pretender. I have no more time to pretend.
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