“Okay,” I tell myself, “I’m gonna keep my mind open and listen to what these folks have to say.” These folks bein’ the same folks I walked out on yesterday. Now, I don’t think they knew I was walkin’ out on them. I mean, I feigned the whole cell phone w/ ringer silenced but informin’ me somehow that I have a call by puttin’ the cell to my ear as I got out of my chair and walked out of the room. Hell, I even rolled my eyes, pointed to the phone at my ear and shook the hands of two guys as I left. No, I don’t think they knew I was walkin’ out on them.
The point is: I know I walked out on them. I walked out pretendin’ outside interruption when the real disturbance was internal. I mean, I know I need these people and this room more now than I’ve ever needed them. And I’ve always needed them though, yesterday mornin’, I was all ate up w/ my inner “smug”…y’know, me feelin’ superior to every friend and acquaintance.
Yeah, when I am irritable, I become arrogant in my perception. And, yesterday, I was as arrogant an asshole as I have ever been when I walked out.
So, I’m gonna try it again this mornin’. But…