I went to coffee last night w/ Ben and some other guy. I really feel bad forgetting the other guy’s name because he certainly was attentive to most things I said. And I was saying a lot last night. Well, really I wasn’t saying much…but I was talking a lot. I was talking just to talk.
Ever have one of those nights? I just couldn’t shut up. I’m not even gonna tell ya what I was goin’ on about coz I’m afraid this will end up to be one helluva rambling post. And I’ve been known to ramble.
But I will tell ya what I wanted to say. I wanted to say, “Three’s a crowd.” I wanted to say, “I would’ve preferred coffee one on one w/ Ben coz I talk to Ben about ‘personal’ stuff. Stuff I don’t talk to too many other folks about.” I wanted to tell the guy whose name I forget to “get lost.”
But I didn’t. I didn’t coz I didn’t want to be rude to the guy. He’d done nothing to offend me personally. He’d done nothing to offend me generally, globally, or universally. I didn’t want to be rude to the guy. I wanted to be rude for other reasons. I mean, I was pissed things weren’t goin’ my way so, in a flash, I wanted to take it out on the guy whose name I forget. In a flash, I wanted to find a reason to be rude to him. That’s what I wanted to do. That’s what I wanted to do but then, in flash, the flash flashed and I didn’t want to be rude to the guy who’d done nothing to me anymore. I didn’t want to be rude anymore. And I wasn’t.
Now, some who know me would disagree. They would say I took it out on Ben and the other guy in a most time consuming and heinous way. Some who know me would say my wasting precious time talking nonsense, barely taking a breath and allowing no one else to get a word in edgewise is exactly how I “take it out” on folks. Some who know me would say I do that to punish them “all the time” and, they would add, me talking too much last night must’ve been torture for my audience. Some who know me call my method of not being rude “Spiritual Water Boarding.” Which, according to them, is a very rude way not to be rude.
Now, I don’t see it that way and, the good thing was Ben and the other guy gave no indication and showed no outward signs of being abused psychically. The good thing was I don’t think they saw me as bein’ rude.
Another good thing was we all got through it w/out serious incident and, when we were standin’ in the coffee shop parking lot an hour later, I shook Ben’s hand and the hand of the man whose name I forget and said, “Enjoyed it. Drive safe.”
And, the good thing was, for once last night, I was tellin’ the truth.