All the sudden I’m Girl Crazy. 61 years old and all I can think about are the ladies. I don’t know if it’s a last gasp testosterone surge. I don’t know if it’s a warm up for alzheimer’s or dementia…some kind of defect in reasoning…after all, I am 61 years old, can’t make my mortgage payment, owe the IRS more money in back taxes and penalties than I’ve made in my lifetime, spent 27 years making no money as a substance abuse/intervention/prevention counselor and now I make a little bit more playing the piano and singing the blues.
I ruined a 13 year relationship w/ the love of my life and, for the past 7 years, I’ve been alone. About 3 years go, I began having serious crushes on young ladies I’d meet. I’d have these crushes one at a time because, for most of my life, I’ve been monogamous. Which means, if I had my mind on one young lady, I had no time to think about another. So the first was a crazy clarinet player. We had a great musical chemistry and she helped me through a hard time in my life (I won’t go into that right here, right now) but we argued a lot…a lot…so much so I had to get over that crush or it would’ve killed me. Then, I latched onto a very pretty Panamanian woman who worked at a coffee diner. I’d talk to her when I stopped for something to eat at 2 or 3 in the morning after my gig. She inspired me to write a whole album’s worth of songs about her and she was very flattered when I gave her the pre-mastered recordings. Then she stopped talking to me. I don’t think her new boy friend liked me. Then this other crush approached me and, one night, I was sittin’ w/ her in her car talkin’ deeply about many things and, when we hugged, I thought maybe I should kiss her but I didn’t. Two weeks later, she had forgotten all about me and was chasin’ a guy a good 15 years younger than her…of course she was probably 20 years younger than me…I should’ve kissed her when I had the chance.
Now, I’ve mentioned this in another post, I’ve been talkin’ on Face Book to a lovely Central American woman. I’ve been talkin’ to her for over a year and I tell her I love her. And I think I do. I send her money. Even when I have no money, I send her money. I don’t mind. I want to make sure she keeps talkin’ to me. I thought I would’ve seen her in person by now but I messed up my passport application and I haven’t had the time to straighten it out. Or, I haven’t wanted to straighten it out because, if I did, I’d go see my friend and figure out if my ‘love’ for her is real. And, if it’s real and if she feels the same way bout me, then my life would change. And I’d be lovin’ a different woman than the woman I loved so true for 13 years.
So, now, I’m crazy bout every attractive lady I see, I’ve joined dating sites and I’ve talked to scammers from Ghana and shut-ins from Opp, Alabama and intense blue eyed vixens lookin’ for their “Partner in Crime,” And I wonder how long it’s gonna be before I’m out there robbin’ banks thinkin’ I’m Clyde to some her’s Bonnie…Thelma to some her’s Louise…I’ve even started to check those “One Night Stand”….”Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am”…websites…But they scare me and I don’t want my fall to be that dark…
Not yet anyway.